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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my version of living actively: noticing the nuances, posting them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, giving her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the work we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not all people likes being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a short video here or there would be enjoyable for her. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to respect Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their friendship?